Well, if you won’t listen to your Yiddishe Mamme, then maybe you’ll pay attention to what the New York City Department of Health is telling you to do:
Nu, would it kill you to wash your hands when you finish using the bathroom? No it wouldn’t. But with the H1N1 virus going around these days, there is the remote chance it could if you don’t. I have enough tsuris already, so don’t make me worry even more. Just do your mother a favor and wash your hands.
What do you know, the poster even includes the “asher yotzar” bracha. It pays to have a Jewish mayor. But who does he think he is convincing the City Council to let him run for a third term? I’ll probably vote for him again, though.
Be sure to follow the poster’s instructions to the letter. The recommendation is to wash for at least 20 seconds, or as long as it takes to sing the alef-beys song. And don’t tell me it doesn’t take that long to sing the alef-beys. Use your yiddishe kop to find a way to stretch it out. Take your time. What’s the hurry? Is there somewhere you need to go? Like maybe to finally come visit your mother?
But don’t come over if you actually end up contracting the Swine Flu. I don’t want you treifing up my kosher kitchen.
© 2009 Renee Ghert-Zand. All rights reserved.